Monday, June 1, 2009
"brain tumors suck" were the first words my mom uttered as they rolled her onto the elevator. She is in a lot of pain 15 out of 10! The medicine is causing some nausia and she is very uncomfortable. Thankfully we are friends with a few nurses, Ashley gave us the name of an anti nausia medicine and they just gave it to her, once thqtbgets into her system she can have some more morphine. She's also had some difficulty breathing through her mouth as her nose is packed with tubes. She gasped for breath a few times and scared us all. The original plan was to keep her for just one night but they may need to keep her longer. She's nervous to be alone so we've been hanging out in her room since they let us in. Grandma and I made a quick run to the border(taco bell of course). We plan to stay until they make her sleep (only to wake her up every 30 minutes). Please keep praying, it's really hard to watch your mom in this much pain. God is good and he's got us through this far and we know he will get usbthrough the rest!
The surgeon just gave us the report. The surgery went well and he's confident he got almost if not all of the tumor out. It was soft like we prayed for and he's confident it's benign. He scrapped until the surface was hard which typically indicates it's the pituitary gland, if it is some tumor that means it's fiberous and may have to be treated with radiation. At her 6 week check up they will do an MRI and see what is going on at that point. Thank you for all of your prayers! God has indeed been good! At this point she is in recovery and depending on how long it takes for the anisthesia to wear off we will get to see her in the next 1 to 2 hours.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Gosh, darn I forgot a little detail. The one about them nailing my head in place. No wonder they want me to wash my hair twice. I promised I wouldn't move put they don't believe me. Ouch I hurt just thinking about it. So to summarize : nails in head, holes in brain, scraping, cuts in abdomen, straws up my nose, sharp pointy things in my arms, and tubes where they just don't belong. Then on top of all that....They weigh me and then let everyone know just how much I weigh! NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Well, it appears we have a winner in the tumor naming contest. This has been tough because I just didn't have feeling one way or the other on its sex. I guess brain tumors prefer to keep their sexual identity secret. Randy had a good tip however, if your tumor has no visible appendages then it's probably a girl .Good tip, Randy. Now I was originally leaning towards naming it after an evil dictator. But, since it appears benign I've settled on a extremely annoying public figure. So the grand prize goes too....Randall Osborne! with his nomination of Nancy (as in PILOSI). Having submitted the winning (and only entry) Randy gets exactly what he deserves....Nothing. But he really is a great guy, and his wife thinks he's super cute!
hold on...I did not hear about any tumor naming contest! I demand a recount! and BTW if you are set on naming it Nancy-be sure and have it impeached, i mean removed, right away...yuck.(Comment by Jackie)
Sorry Jackie, the deadline past, and could you really name a more annoying woman in America? The contest had to have short entry time; this suckers leaving in a few days.
Now on to the nitty and apparently gritty (did you ever notice how I favor the word apparently? Huh, I and only I find that interesting, must go back to something in my childhood) of the operation. Well, that little sucker is BIG! Wow, do I know how to grow'm. So it's through the nose guys! All the pain and discomfort of a nose job with NONE, I all tell you NONE of the benefits. Crap, I couldn't talk him into taking a little off the sides and tip while he was at it. Well, it seems like they stick all sorts of goodies up my nose, push their way through the bone and scrape, scrape , scrape that tumor away They hope it's a soft one, well, don't we all. apparently (see I just love that word) soft are easier to remove than the fibrous ones, I thought fiber was good for us. The FDA lied again. I know that's probably the wrong agency, but give me a break guys.
Anyway getting back to the scraping line does that remind you of the song from South Pacific? "I'm gonna scrape the tumor right outta my brain" Well I digress, then get this their going to cut a little fat out of my abdomen. Take extra I told them, LOTS of extra. You don't know how many skinny girls with brain tumors are out there. Think of the lives my abdominal fat might save. We could start the nations very first fat bank, The Kim Broussard Memorial though she's still living fat bank. They applauded my altruism but said no. I just think this whole thing is patently UNFAIR. No nose job no lippo. I guess I just have to settle for the going away gift of my tumor in one of those cool little bottles. Now why the fat you may ask. Well, apparently (I just love that word) fat is a very effective adhesive, There had to be some reason for it, just call me Elmer. So why do I need adhesives, well apparently when you put a big hole in the bone in your brain you have to plug it up. Otherwise brain fluid tends to run down your nose all day that makes applying make up very hard indeed. And there's that other thing called meningitis, I don't think that's supposed to be good. So they take that fat and plug me like a cork, and no corkage fee. Now things get really fun. While still under anesthesia, thank goodness. Then insert all sorts of things where they don't belong, just to see how I'm doing. I could have told them, LOUSEY! Then they take two twin Posturepedic mattresses (I think this is where the high cost of the surgery comes in) roll them tightly and stick them up my nose! But they put straws in them so I can breathe. These straws are strictly for nasal use and are NOT to be used again, there goes any slight savings on my grocery bill, note to self; buy more straws. And here's what's really great, they put my nose in a NOSE SLING! Boy the things you learn having major surgery! I believe they tape this sling to the bags under your eyes, just to further play up on all your beauty. I hope I get two black eyes too! Then after a coupe nights then send you home to be miserable there. They have no tolerance for whining. Not fair, not fair! Home instructions: Do not under any circumstances SNEEZE! I kid you not I am not allowed to SNEEZE for a minimum of six weeks. Not to mention nose blowing. I think I can handle to no blowing part, but no sneezing, I may not have done all that well in science but, isn't that a natural reflex? Please forward any and all suggestions on how not to sneeze. And with that I bid you achoo, I mean adieu.
hold on...I did not hear about any tumor naming contest! I demand a recount! and BTW if you are set on naming it Nancy-be sure and have it impeached, i mean removed, right away...yuck.(Comment by Jackie)
Sorry Jackie, the deadline past, and could you really name a more annoying woman in America? The contest had to have short entry time; this suckers leaving in a few days.
Now on to the nitty and apparently gritty (did you ever notice how I favor the word apparently? Huh, I and only I find that interesting, must go back to something in my childhood) of the operation. Well, that little sucker is BIG! Wow, do I know how to grow'm. So it's through the nose guys! All the pain and discomfort of a nose job with NONE, I all tell you NONE of the benefits. Crap, I couldn't talk him into taking a little off the sides and tip while he was at it. Well, it seems like they stick all sorts of goodies up my nose, push their way through the bone and scrape, scrape , scrape that tumor away They hope it's a soft one, well, don't we all. apparently (see I just love that word) soft are easier to remove than the fibrous ones, I thought fiber was good for us. The FDA lied again. I know that's probably the wrong agency, but give me a break guys.
Anyway getting back to the scraping line does that remind you of the song from South Pacific? "I'm gonna scrape the tumor right outta my brain" Well I digress, then get this their going to cut a little fat out of my abdomen. Take extra I told them, LOTS of extra. You don't know how many skinny girls with brain tumors are out there. Think of the lives my abdominal fat might save. We could start the nations very first fat bank, The Kim Broussard Memorial though she's still living fat bank. They applauded my altruism but said no. I just think this whole thing is patently UNFAIR. No nose job no lippo. I guess I just have to settle for the going away gift of my tumor in one of those cool little bottles. Now why the fat you may ask. Well, apparently (I just love that word) fat is a very effective adhesive, There had to be some reason for it, just call me Elmer. So why do I need adhesives, well apparently when you put a big hole in the bone in your brain you have to plug it up. Otherwise brain fluid tends to run down your nose all day that makes applying make up very hard indeed. And there's that other thing called meningitis, I don't think that's supposed to be good. So they take that fat and plug me like a cork, and no corkage fee. Now things get really fun. While still under anesthesia, thank goodness. Then insert all sorts of things where they don't belong, just to see how I'm doing. I could have told them, LOUSEY! Then they take two twin Posturepedic mattresses (I think this is where the high cost of the surgery comes in) roll them tightly and stick them up my nose! But they put straws in them so I can breathe. These straws are strictly for nasal use and are NOT to be used again, there goes any slight savings on my grocery bill, note to self; buy more straws. And here's what's really great, they put my nose in a NOSE SLING! Boy the things you learn having major surgery! I believe they tape this sling to the bags under your eyes, just to further play up on all your beauty. I hope I get two black eyes too! Then after a coupe nights then send you home to be miserable there. They have no tolerance for whining. Not fair, not fair! Home instructions: Do not under any circumstances SNEEZE! I kid you not I am not allowed to SNEEZE for a minimum of six weeks. Not to mention nose blowing. I think I can handle to no blowing part, but no sneezing, I may not have done all that well in science but, isn't that a natural reflex? Please forward any and all suggestions on how not to sneeze. And with that I bid you achoo, I mean adieu.
Well tomorrow’s the big day, no I guess the day of the surgery is the big day. So o.k. tomorrow’s the medium day. I see Dr. Efron for the first time and see what little goodies he has planned for me. First we'll discuss the unnamed tumor but, I may have a name for him by then. Then I’ll ask a will I live? Oh I do so hope he says yes! Then down to the nitty gritty of the surgery it's self
I just knew you'd want to know all the details, especially all you House fans. From what I've read they either go right through your nose. Probably I won't have anymore trouble with my sinuses after that one. I'll ask him to take a little off the sides, make my nose look a little thinner you know. Another fun way is to go through your mouth, they split your gums and go right up and pull that little bugger out.
Well after looking at the picture of me, (which I had nothing to do with, Terry or Liz!) it look like they should take some off the end too. Please I'm talking the nose, not gums! I think I'll request tooth whitening and a LOT or morphine! Morphine good, pain bad. They said the least painful, though used less often (we don't want to miss out on any pain now do we) is through the eyebrow. The just cut right through the brow. So instead of two brows I get three. Which is actually a very good thing because you never know when you might need an extra eyebrow and then you have to run out in the middle of the night to an all night eyebrow store. Unless you’re me that is. And just think how attractive that will be no ordinary unibrow, but an UNDERBROW!
Taylor, my wickedly funny and sometimes just wicked son told me that that was a Very low brow joke. What can you do there's all ways a critic in the house
I just knew you'd want to know all the details, especially all you House fans. From what I've read they either go right through your nose. Probably I won't have anymore trouble with my sinuses after that one. I'll ask him to take a little off the sides, make my nose look a little thinner you know. Another fun way is to go through your mouth, they split your gums and go right up and pull that little bugger out.
Well after looking at the picture of me, (which I had nothing to do with, Terry or Liz!) it look like they should take some off the end too. Please I'm talking the nose, not gums! I think I'll request tooth whitening and a LOT or morphine! Morphine good, pain bad. They said the least painful, though used less often (we don't want to miss out on any pain now do we) is through the eyebrow. The just cut right through the brow. So instead of two brows I get three. Which is actually a very good thing because you never know when you might need an extra eyebrow and then you have to run out in the middle of the night to an all night eyebrow store. Unless you’re me that is. And just think how attractive that will be no ordinary unibrow, but an UNDERBROW!
Taylor, my wickedly funny and sometimes just wicked son told me that that was a Very low brow joke. What can you do there's all ways a critic in the house
Before I blog any further, I would be remiss if I did not address an important legal issue. The below named TUMOR is the exclusive property of the author of this blog. It may not be duplicated for any cause without the written consent of the above mentioned Tumor owner. However If any of you just want to TAKE my tumor, I will immediately grant ANY and ALL requests. Contact the author if you want my Tumor for your self.
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